The end is almost here

Student life at its finest

It’s been a while since I last blogged, the stress of my final year at university and living in London has officially taken over my life. But it’s almost over, only 3 more days till my last exam and my three years a student is over and I have to grow up and go into full-time work. I simply cannot begin to even describe the memories and friends I have made in the last year, that will stay with me forever.


Just yesterday me and Ell decided to visit our old campus to visit some old acquaintances accompanied with some brownies, balloons and party poppers. It was Dim’s birthday so we thought it would be super cute to bring him some goodies. It wasn’t long before our catch up resulted to a trip to the local supermarket for numerous rolls of cling film. Prankster queens we thought it would be a good idea to get the boys with one of our mischievous pranks.

Trying to be sneaky me and Elle figured it would be hilarious to cling film Ellis’s car however we were not sneaky enough and got caught in the act. Game over, boring boots, Connor could hear us through he’s open window and informed Ellis of our plans.

Any how the fun was not about to stop there, with 8 rolls of cling film left we simply had no option but to carry on with our games. Unfortunately for the last house mate he wasn’t home so just picture the state of his bedroom once we had cling filmed every single object he had in there. Just one of my very proud prank moments, lets face it I won’t be getting away with such behaviour in the adult world.

Where is began

Monday is upon us, it’s out last night as students, the last night for everyone to be together before we all disappear to begin our lives. So where else would be rather spend our last night? Stick to our tradition and end where we began, Tap ‘n’ Tip.  The most dirtiest clubs in Kent, where most of our friendships formed and the best memories we hold all come down to a Monday night spent at tap, or the after maths of a night there.

Come back to hear all about my last night antics, I’m sure there will be loads to tell.



Student Jane – xoxo



Stress Rant


I have very little patience. My reaction to many situations can back this up! I’m currently in my last year of uni in the last few months. The work it piling up and group work is part of almost every module this term!

If you have never experienced group work in any form that your winning in life, but I doubt it! Whether it’s working as part of a team at work or a group project, team work is difficult!

I am currently on the bus home back to my flat absolutely fuming about the two hours of my life I have just wasted. The two hours consisted of two of team member arguing about the same point and no one else getting a word in edge ways!

6 o’clock come and that was it, I gently closed my Mac, I did want to abruptly smash it closed and make a scene but it cost to much and holds vital documents that I can not afford to loose, stand up put on my coat and wait for the pair to pause so I can make a swift exist while my group watch me exist the room.

So I sit on this smelly bus thinking about what tomorrow has to bring and how I can’t wait to meet with my group again to try and complete this horrific project. That was complete sarcasm just in case you didn’t catch on.

Thoughts enter my head, I start wondering maybe it’s me. I have issues I know I do, who doesn’t. How can I let such a minute situation make me feel so crappy this evening! There is so much worse going on in the worlds. How am I going to survive in the big wide world, certainly not by throwing a tantrum everything something goes wrong!

Times like this I need to start acting like an adult and get over it! But how do adults acts? How do you deal with crappy situations? What’s an adult solution? I simply do not think adult life is for me!


Stressed Jane xoxo




I haven’t always been over weight, durning school and the beginning of college I was always able to wear what I wanted without giving it a thought. 


I didn’t even notice it happening. I guess we can blame it on my first job, or my best friend,  either way is fine by me, it obviously wasn’t my fault I gained weight.

KFC was my first job as you can imagine the amount of food we could eat was unlimited. Sneaky bites of popcorn as your running around making up someones order. I had a great friend ship with the burger guy, we were homies. He would prepare me little nibbles throughout the day, little piece of boneless chicken wrapped in half a slice of cheese dipped in either salsa or mayo. Just a quick snack to get me through until lunch time.

So i guess this is were is begun, eating crap day in day out. Going to college wasn’t any better. 3 days out of 7 I would eat out, McDonalds, Greggs, college cafeteria… then the other 4 days would consist of KFC.

The weight was slowly piling on and I wasn’t even noticing, clothes shopping didn’t seem any different until it come to the day when I realised that I had slowly gone up in two dress sizes.

First and second year of uni came and went and it wasn’t until third year that I decided it was time to deal with my issues seriously this time. I had previously attempted to eat healthier, but diets were not for me. I started to go to gym, paying £60 a month I thought i’d force my self to go. And I did, for the first week.

Im in my final year of university and I have just moved into my own flat in London. My comfort bubbles are slowly being burst, moving from home to my own place was the first bubble, and in a short amount of time another bubble will be burst and the only thing I have known, education will be over. I need my confidence back, without this how am I going to survive in the big wide world…

So here is goes, I vouch to get back to my skinny self I once was. With the support of my amazing flat mate I know I will get there, with lots of tears I’m sure, but I will be the person I want to be. I no longer want to be the duff of our group (Designated Ugly Fat Friend)

Jane Duff










Make It Count

True story, a rule to live by for sure.
Amazing blog


Life in Color

Make every single day count. Many of you probably hear how living life to the fullest and cherishing every day is so very important. I watched a video recently that really made this statement seem true.

Our lives are spent doing so many things. We sleep, eat, bathe, work, learn, and after all of that only a short bit of time is left to do all of the things we enjoy in life.

According to an article written by the website, Distractify, the following are the amounts of time spent in a life time doing various tasks.

  1. 25 years are spent sleeping
  2. 9.1 years sleeping
  3. 2 years watching TV commercials
  4. 2.5 years cooking
  5. 3.6 years eating
  6. 1.1 years cleaning
  7. 4.3 years driving, while 3 months spent stuck in traffic
  8. Average employee spends 2 years sitting in meetings
  9. 99,117 hours spent working in a lifetime

So after all of this time…

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Rejection at its sweetest


Let me begin by mentioning that many of my future post will probably involve me and my friends intoxicated, although I do get myself in some pickles even when sober. I tend to find my self in situations that I believe regular people couldn’t even make happen if they wanted to.

Many of my friends and family have persistently said that the stories from my daily life are simply hysterical and if I ever made it on any kind of TV I would simply be a national sensation. You’ll grow to love my jokes just as much as I do and not take me so seriously.

But seriously, I do sometimes wish that there would be just a camera following me on a daily basis to catch every little moment. Obviously I would be the only one to review the footage to crop and edit any clips I didn’t want being shown. But there isn’t a camera following me, so I simply will just have to try my best to put into words the following event that occurred only 3 days ago.


It was a fellow friends birthday, the big 2 1 how could we miss it. A couple of friends came over to mine and my flatmates apartment where we begun the night. Surprisingly me and my flat mate, Ellie decided not to drink anything until we got to the first pub.

Have you ever been on public transport and you encounter a group of young people intoxicated on public transport, making complete fools of themselves? Well this was us, i must remind you me and Ellie at this point are completely sober so you can just imagine the sheer embarrassment we were feeling when the train stopped and a rush of people in suits and dresses stormed into the carriage, starring straight at us.

What felt like a never ending journey we arrive at our stop. While the group merrily skip off to the left singing (screeching) and also the wrong direction i begin to get a rage on. My patience was wearing thin and I needed a glass of wine ASAP.

A couple of drinks later I’m almost there, you know THERE. We decide to move on to our next spot, bare in mind it is a Tuesday so not much is crackalacking.

Sophisticated as we are, me and Ellie sit at the table we just nabbed sipping on our wine judging all of our embarrassing drunk friends. It’s not long before both me and Ellie are boozy and all judging turns into appreciation and love for all our friends.

This tall dark, handsome, bearded fella walks in the club, considering there is probably a total of 30 people in the club I gaze at him as we make eye contact for a whole 10 seconds, that was enough thats all I needed. I immediately rush back to Ellie and tell her all about this beautiful soul that I had shared a moment with, time to get to work.

With a POA (plan of action) in mind I set out to nab the man of my dreams. Slight exaggeration, but he was beautiful. Before I get to work… to the bar, me and Ell stand at the bar waiting to be served.

To my surprise, as I turn to look at Ell who’s standing next to her? He is, my bearded target. He begins conversations with the both of us, obviously he’s shy so he didn’t want to just approach me on his own. I simply can not hear a thing the guy is saying, I realise that not only am I partially deaf at this point my mysterious man has an accent. Ell kindly repeats everything he has to say, I smile looking directly into his eyes. Getting Barry brave at this point, I know.

Then shit hits the fan, the only words that I understood from the whole 10 minutes of talking to him were as follows “I’m extremely bad at picking up girls”

I look him straight in the eyes and ask him who is he trying to chat up? I’m confused now, did our gaze mean nothing to him?

I repeat myself as he still had not answered my question.

He slowly raises his hands and picks up the cream pie that happens to be on the bar and smooshes it into my face. BAMM I just got pied. That obviously wasn’t what happened, but is identical to the feeling that I felt after he pointed at my Ell and not me.

I take the rejection like the big girl I am and wonder back to our table were I carry on sipping on our wine. I glance over to the new couple to my surprise they are starring straight back at me, remaining calm and elegant I simply flick the bird at the pair and perform my favourite move, the champagne shower.




Creamed Jane



Where is begun


It all started in the spring of 2015. 

It was a Monday and as Monday traditions go it was time to hit the local dingy club, get boozy on £1.40 vodka and lemonade and finish the night with a greasy portion of cheesy chips from the kebab shop across the road. 

Ill skip all the boring parts, you know the pre drinks where glasses of wine turn into bottles. Then you before you know it someones standing at the top of the stairs “CABS ARE HERE!” 

We had our usual cab driver that would pick us up on Monday’s, he was cool, let us drink in the cab, played music at full volume, even played Bieb’s. But don’t forget to put your seatbelt on, he was a crazy driver. There were times when i feared for my life, but hey we’re students the risk was worth saving some dollar on taxi fares. 

So we arrive at the club, everyone has that one mate thats had way to much at pre’s so as your queuing to get in, you give them the pep talk. Like a miracle they sober up for a whole 2 minters to convince the bouncer their not too boozy. Boom, we’re all in, lets get the drinks flowing. 

Your half way through the night, you spot one of your pals at the bar. Pushing through the crowd you get to the bar, getting your friends attention and reminding them “mate you still owe me a drink for the taxi fare i paid for ya” you know what the outcome is… same excuse, they don’t have any cash you end up buying two double vodka and lemonades and four tequila shots, and of course they’ve run out lemon and salt so your gagging as you get your two shots of tequila down our neck and wash it down with the rest of your voddy that you’ve almost drunk while waiting for the barman to pour your shots. 

You spend half of your night in the smoking area, most of the time resulting in making new friends that you have so much in common with, but have no scooby to what their name is, but this time it was different i remembered his name. 

Isn’t just funny how much confidence a couple of vodka’s can give you, and damn was i confident tonight. I sat on the bench smoking a cigarette with my friend when i look up there he is, i never would of thought that one moment could lead into anything like it did. So i turn my head so he can only see the left side of my face and i blink. The head turn wouldn’t of been necessary if i knew how to wink, but i don’t so i improvised. After a quick whisper to his friend, to what i can only imagine went something like “we’re in”.

We spend most of the night kissing than actually talking, while both our ‘in a relationship’ friends die of boredom. A few pictures are taken, and even a cringe video is recored. Worst of all your talking absolute bull and everyone hates their own voice in videos but you don’t know about this video yet, its waiting to be watched in the morning to remind you of how fucked up and embarrassing you was the night before. 

We loose each other in the club, i end up on my own stumbling around the club looking for any one of my friends. Thats when Phoebe finds me, sits me down on the bench while she goes to get me a bottle of water. Have you seen that video ‘when your friends leaves a party drunk’ (if you haven’t please do Adventure) This was me, i thought it would be a marvellous idea to run out of the doors on my tod and have my very own drunk adventure. 

I didn’t get very far at all, as i sit on the steps out side the kebab shop my phone doesn’t stop going off, i finally answer it with a mouthful of chips and inform my friends that i am safe and ready for bed. The rest of evening all sort of blurs into a faded memory, all i know is i wake up in the hotel room next to my friend gasping for a drink and a text message from an unknown number. 

And thats where my real adventure of 2015 begun. 



Miss Doe